Online dating

December 11, 2017

Internet dating has become an extremely popular way to meet people, and has indeed brought a lot of lonely souls together. But not every date turns out like a Match.com ad. Catfish, lonely people, broken hearts, false claims, failed expectations, doctored photos, no-shows, and even frauds --it's all part of the online dating experience. I gathered a few observations from my own experience and stories I heard from people around me.

On some online dating sites, if a member wants to express attraction for another member after reading their profile, but without going to the extreme of sending them an e-mail, they can send an electronic wink. I was overloaded with winks and messages in my inbox, Over 2000 members viewed my profile. Of those, at least half were winks.Usually, though, what the winks actually mean is: "I saw your picture and I think you're hot, but I'm too lazy to read your profile and it costs me nothing to just shoot you a wink on the off chance that you think my overweight body is sexy, or that you're a nymphomaniac."

You'd think the anonymity of online interaction would make it easier for guys to come off as smooth and in control. But the opposite is often the case. That same anonymity seems to give some men a license to be rude perverts. One guy came right out in the subject line of his message and let me know he wanted to meet me and do "bad things" to me. Another claimed he was a real cowboy, and wanted to have sex with me bareback on his horse. Oy.

A few tips from my male friend to girls trying too hard to be cool online. “First of all, the screen name. Stop putting 'sassy' into your screen name. Stop putting 'city girl' into your screen name. When registering, if you tried to use 'giantfan' as your screen name and it came back telling you that you'd have to settle for 'giantfan57836,' that should have been your first clue that you have picked a disgustingly unoriginal name.. Speaking of Giant fans, stop saying you love sports and that you 'act just like a guy.'”

And the same is true of the men. I started to whittle the list down by deleting those with eyebrow-raising or just plain sad screen names, such as variations on "loverboy," "mr. romantic," "lonely guy," "lonely one," "kiss me," "true love MD," "huggy bear," "party man," "sexy upndown", “ladies man “, etc.--I am not making these up--and subject lines such as "Hi Beautiful", "Wow!", "Hi Baby Pretty", "Hey there, sexy", and "Me wink; you reply".

I guess pictures of guys posing with a cat or fresh-caught barracuda are not so bad compared to few sparks that I have found. Just to name a few : a picture of a guy holding a small cup of what looked to be urine and a headline saying “I am drug free and I can prove it". Another one half my age kissing a beer bottle, his caption read “ hey cougar looking for a cub meow”, guy dressed like a Zorro, a store trooper figure – no face, just a toy- how can I know this is not a 10 year old? I already have one son, don’t need another one. Left and left.

The Onion's Online Dating Tips offer this suggestion: Set yourself apart by choosing a descriptive user name like SocialRetard321, CuteFaceFatAss, or WhiteRihno

The worst part of online dating is the first awkward face-to-face hello. Your preconception of the person you have been speaking to is always very oddly different from the person you meet. And I also seem to make my mind up very quickly on how the night will go.

I once heard a story about a man who turns up to dates early and buys himself a drink, so that when the girl arrives, he can send her up to the bar to get a drink and do a runner if he thinks they aren’t up to his exacting standards. That’s almost a reason to give up.

Many, many people agree to a drink and then never reply. I’m almost not sure how to deal with any response to “Do you want to discuss this over a drink?” that isn’t silence. One guy asked me which person I was in one of my profile pictures; he said my friend looked like a much hotter version of me. I replied, “Oh, really?” He said, “You’re an angry woman, you would fall in love with me but also hate me a little bit. I bet you would slap me during sex.”

Bumble is rumored to be an app that has a hotter population of men. But it doesn’t actually put the female in control: it simply means vain men can read and smugly ignore your overthought openers. Happn is trying to add the cute “fate” dimension to app dating, but it just means you find your flatmate’s boyfriend on it as he is upstairs and the location tracker lands you in a dubious situation.

A friend of mine commented that no one hooks up with anyone on a night out any more. I reckon this is due to everyone prearranging their hook-ups on apps. Spontaneity can be overrated.

Probably the best online profile I read was from a guy with one arm “Not the best at juggling (fought a shark, lost an arm)”. I think he may have lost it in an actual shark attack.

The trick is to assume that the ugliest photo he sends is the truest representation. After all, we all try to present the most attractive profiles of ourselves. From experience, it’s also a good idea to avoid freelance models.

I think people are a bit more dismissive on online dates than they would be if they were with a friend of a friend or someone they had met in a bar – although seriously, does that ever happen? If there isn’t a spark you don’t feel any obligation to immediately say, “I had a really nice time but I didn’t think we quite clicked.” Whereas you might if you thought you would see them again. Online dating becomes a numbers game; the more people you meet the more likely you think you are to find “the one”.

Online dating has delivered some very random and entertaining evenings. I have gone on dates that have led to flirtations and friendships, and that have introduced me to new parts of New York, and places to go out. The highlight so far was definitely sharing a boozy evening with a pretty famous and rather attractive tv anchor. That’s one of the real, sincere joys of online dating – it can open your world up to people who you would never ordinarily get the chance to meet.

Some people are truly looking for a relationship, for others online dating becomes an addiction. One of my friends started on craigslist. At times she would try to stop the madness. Would take down her ads, tell people she was taking a "break" from dating, she would arrange to see the same guy several times just to keep herself from going on new dates. But always, inevitably, she would log in just to see who were out there, what new ads were posted in her absence ... and she would get reeled back in.

Soon, Match.com wasn't enough. She branched out to Nerve and Yahoo, even Jdate (not that she is Jewish). As a result, she started having more dates than free evenings. She became an expert stacker. Her performance at work started to suffer. Between arranging dates and answering e-mails, she rarely finished her projects on time. And she started taking long date lunches, because her evenings were already chock-full. At that point, her dating itself started to suffer. She started losing track of which one was the human rights lawyer and which one hiked Mt. Everest. Her ability to combine witty banter with piercing intellectual observations and shy but come-hither glances (the ingredients, she knew, of a successful date) was plummeting. Slack-jawed, bleary-eyed, she could only listen with faux enthusiasm and nod at appropriate intervals to their monologues....There were times she woke up and couldn't remember whom she had gone out with the previous night, nor whom she was supposed to meet that night. And she could no longer rely on just first names--there were scores of Robs, and Daves, and Mikes. She had to make up nicknames for all of them, and designed a spreadsheet with relevant details of each to keep track of it all.

Sometimes when you think you’ve met the perfect partner through an online dating website or app, the other person is using a fake profile to form a relationship with you. They’re using the site to gain your trust and ask you for money or enough personal information to steal your identity. This is an extreme scenario but it happens. It happened to my best friend. A guy she met online and soon started to date would tell her how wonderful and beautiful she was, how much he loved her (after a month of dating)he would cook her dinners, do shopping, paint her apartment, etc. Very soon he won her heart, who wouldn't ? he seemed like a perfect guy, almost too perfect. The fact that he was wearing the same shirt over and over, getting gas only for 5$ at a time or rarely buying her a drink or paying for dinner or didn't have a Facebook account weren’t good enough reasons to raise her suspicion. But when all of the sudden both of his parents died within one month and he was trying to keep her away from meeting the rest of the family or friends something clicked. She called his work place; nobody knew his name, his mom’s funeral was never scheduled at the cemetery he gave her. Although he kept insisting he was there during the ceremony. She had to hire a private detective to find out if he was only after her money or maybe a psychopath or a former convict.

Despite some setbacks, online dating has generally delivered a pleasing source of distraction and periodic amusement for me. Nonetheless, I do wonder if having constant access to so many potential partners is such a good thing. Such opportunity seems to mean that there are fewer incentives to see what happens when you do meet someone you like, and to stick with it when it gets hard. I confess I have been guilty of thinking, “Well, he is nice, but New Jersey is a bit far away,” from time to time. I do have a few friends who have found lasting relationships online, so keep on swiping people I believe you can find your true love and online dating is as good as any other way of meeting the only one for you.

Everything tuna salad was introduced to me on one of my online dates by a very nice guy, who apparently can cook. We went out a few times but there wasn’t enough sparks to continue it. I hope he will forgive me for using his recipe without asking.

Recipe

2 cans of tuna in water or olive oil

bunch of crunchy lettuce ( romaine works well )

10 baby carrots , chopped in 1 inch cubes

small radicchio

1 pear chopped

bunch of scallion, dill and parsley

juice of 5 lemons

1/3 cup of olive oil

salt and pepper

chop everything and mix well. Serve with nice French bread.

The Goddess in me

September 23, 2017

“You may not know yourself as a Goddess; your feminine energy is out of balance and your divine essence has yet to awaken. But the time has come, right now, for you to know that being a woman is special, sacred, and divine. Every woman deserves to know herself in this way. Return to your ancient roots, learn the timeless wisdom of your mythic history, and discover how you are the embodiment of the highest feminine Essence of the world—The Divine Feminine. Understand why over many centuries, a woman’s relationship with Her has become increasingly lost to us, and why now is the right time to bring Her back into your life. Remember yourself into wholeness, reawaken to the sacredness of your Goddess body and begin to see it as beautiful in every way. Reacquaint yourself with the cyclical seasons of a woman’s life and with the Great Mother Moon who guides your lunar nature and your moontime blood.”

This is a summary of a book “You are a woman you are divine” my dearest friend gave me some time ago. Before I got this book, my friend created a safe space to show me and celebrate the Goddess in me. This experience has changed my life, I have become a different person, more aware of the gift everyone one of us- women is carrying inside, waiting to be discovered and cherished. Thank you for giving me this incredible gift of self-love!! “ You are woman: your body is sacred, and your essence is Divine. You are the embodiment of the divine feminine “ I spent a lot of time thinking how to discover the divine feminine in me. Sometimes I think of the Goddess as my real self, she’s the real me becoming balanced and whole. At times she’s all of nature. And then at times she’s just what I need when I don’t feel I’ve got a lot inside. I want to think of a symbol outside myself, and so I think of a Goddess outside of myself. So she’s outside and within and through the whole creation. That’s really how I see the Goddess.

There is no judgment, no reproach. There’s nobody telling you off and saying you haven’t done the right thing. I can feel silly and disappointed about what I’ve done or not done, but I don’t feel that I’m reproached. She’s always loving and caring and supportive and helping me to get back to a center of balance. Every woman is a spectacular creature and we are all beautifully built. We are specifically designed to be a creatress, the bearer of our species, and to be powerful in the most feminine of ways. We carry within the space of our womb the Light of the world. Our very existence makes the world lovelier. I definitely think of the Goddess as being within myself, within every woman whether she accesses that or not. But I also see the Goddess very much in the elements – they give me a physical, tangible sense of her being in the earth, air, water, and fire. I also get her spirit sense from the feeling I have of and “Other”, other than myself, and other than what I can see. I do very much feel her presence in this spirit sense, something that’s much bigger than me and than any of us, and yet something that resides in all of us. It’s that feeling very much that the Goddess ‘She’ is everywhere. I connect with her, and sometimes that will be getting in touch with the Goddess in myself, and sometimes she will be the inner child, and sometimes she will be my inner guide or wise woman or my mothering self. At other times I’ll be very much talking to her “out there”. Sometimes that will be in praise and delight, and other times it might be sheer desperation and despair. And then I feel very much like I’m talking to her when I go for walks on the beach or bike through Central Park, or go for a sail in a boat, or sit around a big fire, or any of those situations where I feel very much connected.

For me, the Goddess is in me and in each one of us and in everything, in the sea and in the elements. I pray to her a lot and meditate, and she’s like a friend to me or she’s whatever I happen to be needing, I know she’s not going to be anything other than exactly what I need. So if I need a friend, she’s a friend. If I’m desperate, she’s there then. At times I can feel like getting in touch with different parts of myself. Sometimes I can feel like the Goddess resides in me. I don’t have a sense that I invited her to enter me, when I think about my feminine side I get the feeling that I am just acknowledging her, because her presence is already there. It’s just focusing that energy and increasing my awareness of something that already exists.

When I recognized the power of the divine feminine in me and the joy of seeing myself as a Goddess fully restored to my spirit, I was released and discovered how to live a better, happier, more fulfilled life as a woman, I have been more confident (although I was never a shy person ), I have been more creative, more inspired and have had more energy, I love deeper and more authentically, I have been able to open up and share my life stories with my partners. The acceptance and integration of the feminine existence within me brought me back harmony and healing. Not to mention joy, power and success on the dating scene.

I hope my Goddess dressing will be a good beginning to start looking for the release of the feminine power and beauty within you.

Goddess dressing.

1 cup canola mayo

1 cup chopped scallions

3/4 cup fresh basil

1/4 lemon juice add more if needed.

2 cloves garlic

1 tsp anchovy paste

21/2tsp salt

1tsp black pepper

1 cup sour cream

2tbs chives

1/4 tsp lemon zest

Blend everything together and enjoy.

Goddess dressing.

1 szklanka majonezu ( ja dodaje wiecej jogurtu niz majonezu )

1 szklanka pokrojonego szczypiorku

3/4 szklanka swiezej bazylii

1/4 soku z cytryny , lub wiecej do smaku

2 zabki czasnku

1 lyzka pasty z anchois

21/2 lyzeczki soli

1 lyzeczka pieprzu

1 szklanka smietany lub jogurtu

1/4 lyzeczki startej skorki z cytryny

wszystkie skladniki zmikoswac w mikserze na gladka mase.

best granola and my morning routine- dedicated to ada

September 6, 2017

Mornings are my favorite time of the day. Partially because it is a new day, and I have a chance for something very exciting to happen. But before I start my invigorating day I do my ordinary, boring things to make me feel safe, and grounded.

I love to ask people about their morning routines. It’s a source of endless fascination for me. I’ve been asked that question so many times: what’s your morning routine? They seem to be expecting an inspiring answer. I hate to disappoint.

My morning routine is pretty boring. Every day the same, getting up, exercising, shower, quick walk with my dog and bike ride to work. I break that boring routine once in a while with a short visit at a local coffee shop, usually combine with a friendly chat with neighbors, yes even New Yorkers have a sense of community and they are friendly sometimes, half sleeping, waiting for their first sip of coffee. Oftentimes the first thing I do in the morning is checking my email on my phone before I even sit up. I do this to calm my anxiety. Or to create enough anxiety that I’m not sleepy anymore. I’m not sure which. It’s a terrible habit. I don’t have time to eat at home, I hit the ground running & get straight to work with my hair in a messy bun because I chose exercising over hairdo and makeup.

One of my routines is the choice of menu…. Fruit with yogurt and home made granola… Night owls rejoice! Now you can add some bee pollen, goji berries, seeds, coconut flakes, and superfood-, add some yogurt and have a legitimate, protein rich breakfast without doing anything more than waking up. This is particularly handy for not just night owls but for:

a) people who want to eat well in the morning (everyone, yes?)

b) people with children who even if they’re far better than I at mornings get pounced on with more needs than one woman can juggle

c) people on the go that need something they can take with them.

So here’s to mornings, whether your idea of morning is burying a head under your pillow because you were up in the ambient glow of a screen as your brain buzzed all evening or if you’re a veritable bird from a Disney movie in the morning.

My best granola

1 bag rolled oat

1/2 cup of coconut oil

· 5 tablespoons of honey or date paste (just mashed up dates)

· 1 teaspoon of flaky salt

· 1 cup of xylitol

· FOR GARNISH

· bee pollen

· fresh fruit

· honey

· toasted coconut flakes

goji berries

· hemp seeds (or other seeds & nuts)

Mix all the ingredients together, spread out on a baking sheet and bake for 1 hour in 275 F turn it occasionally so the oats don’t burn.

farmers market

August 31, 2017

My report from the trip to France wouldn’t be completed without a visiting les marchés paysans (farmers’ markets). Visiting traditional Farmers’ markets I feel always welcomed, safe, uplifted and inspired.

For me the traditional markets represent the heart and soul of the community. No matter where you travel you will always find them in the center of town. The market is usually held on Saturday or Sunday. ( at least in France it is)

You can take your time and feel like you are part of a special tradition. This is a place where people of all walks of life meet, talk, joke, share… It is upbeat and convivial.

“Authentic” vendors, the ones who actually have a farm and/or actually produce, raise or catch what they sell, are really passionate about their products and are always very eager and excited to talk about them. Passion, advice and service that can never be found under the neon lights of a supermarket. The people who go to the market are mostly knowledgeable and passionate about food and are happy to share recipes. All you have to do is dare to ask! Some will also give you advice on which vendors you should (or shouldn’t) go to. Don’t be afraid to ask the older folks. They always know who has the best of anything. The products are grown/produced/raised/caught locally (I am still referring to the “authentic crowd”). They are also in season, fresh and mostly organic.

All the colors and smells that jump at me when I entered the square are unimaginable for someone who has never visited one of them. Every town and city has its own market it is a part of the culture and local scene. This is a place when locals get their grocery done. It is not only a source of breads and pastries, prepared foods, freshly butchered local meats, wines and cheeses, but it’s also a gathering spot for coffee or a full meal as well as events.

Coming to the states my taste buds went through a shock how little the ordinary food here tastes… I always thought that Food should taste like what it is. Fish, for example, should taste like fish and not (as many Americans have been trained to think) as a vehicle for breaded toppings that make it taste like Ritz crackers..

France is justly famous for its markets, they really are still a part of every day life and always have been. They are not recently invented fashionable "farmers' markets" selling superfoods in designer eco packaging but genuine places where ordinary folk get their daily food. Not everything is locally produced by any means, much comes from the wholesale markets on the edge of big cities, having been shipped in from around the world. You can usually tell these stalls as the fruit or veg is uniformly perfect and polished and the prices may be a bit cheaper than on the local stalls. But mixed in with these generic sellers are plenty of local producers selling their wares direct, offering the best in quality and the lowest carbon footprint. And that's what makes markets in France so interesting. Regional variations in cuisine are so great that a market in Normandy will focus on entirely different produce than one in Provence, or one in Alsace. Don't go to a market in the south expecting a selection of Camemberts, nor hope to find a range of olive oils in Lorraine!

My advice is to get there early - it starts around 7 am - and enjoy the best produce without the crowds. Take your time to chat to the sellers, and even if your French is limited, a friendly "bonjour", "merci" and "au revoir" will always be appreciated and will almost certainly get you better service and possibly better produce too. You can always ask to sample a bit of what you're interested in, or ask for advice. Did you know that it's normal to ask for a certain product, such as a cheese/melon/avocado, to be ripe for a certain day? (For example, you want a fresh goats' cheese for a dinner you're having in 3 days' time, so tell the seller and s/he will pick you out the perfect one for that day). Even if you're just looking and photographing, still make eye contact and smile - it makes a huge difference! By the time everyone else arrives as the morning wears on you'll be ready to sit down and watch the world go by over a coffee in the Place des Arcades. You'll still be right in the thick of it, but at one of the coveted tables on the terrace rather than squabbling and pushing with the masses. Wandering between the stands I felt like I came back to my roots.

Mother's Day

May 21, 2017

My mom is an amazing mother who dedicated her life to her two kids. She is selfless yet strong - and the most beautiful woman I know. She survived the death of her son and although she has never gotten rid of the pain, she learned how to show me her unconditional love and devotion and never made me feel -even for a second- that I am less important or less loved or appreciated because I am still alive and he is not.

Although my parents never made differences between us kids, it was always unspoken knowledge that my little brother was mama’s boy and I was daddy's little girl. Regardless of our alliances, I remember as a child walking 2 miles each way to the forest to collect Lilies of the Valley for my mom’s special bouquet. This was our thing. A small bunch of beautiful, to-die-for smelling white, tiny bells. I have kept this tradition to this day, sending my mom at least one dried stem in her Mother’s day card.

This year during my morning run – every day the same path - exactly on Mother’s Day I came across a patch of my favorite Mother’s Day flowers. They were peeking at me asking to be seen. Coincidence? A sign the universe is trying to tell me something? I ran the same path the day before and I did not see them. Pretty damn amazing.

Last Sunday although I wasn’t celebrating Mother’s Day (in my country we celebrate it on May 26th), I was thinking about all the mothers everywhere. The crazy religious mothers, who protect a purified piece of emotional land that they feed to their children at the detriment of their lives. The lost mothers, who follow their children’s paths, becoming whatever their children are, who look younger than their daughters, who will never be able to be a beacon of aging, of mothering, of acceptance. The mothers who cook and clean and make their own peach mush for infants, the mothers who never cook and never clean and leave their infants alone with pedophile relatives. All mothers everywhere, who have grown babies or adopted them, especially adopted, for they are the ones who waited in vain, who were not ‘chosen’ and still insisted on their right to the job of motherhood. They watch their children with a melancholy fear, what will it be? Did I buy a killer? Can I teach my child well on the right to the job of motherhood?

When we have kids we know better. We know that the living child matters more than anything in the world. That is why it is nature’s prime directive. Reproduce, like a rose through the cement, like grass breaking apart rocks.

Apologies to all my friends who sent me Mother’s Day wishes. Although I am not really sure why – I am not their mother – I never reply or send anything back. Please don’t take this personally, it’s not you, it’s me. Weirdo, who doesn’t like meaningless words and gestures. Who has her own strong opinions about things and goes a bit against the grain.

I will be thinking of my mom on May 26th, the day when we celebrate Mother’s Day back home, the same way I think of her every single day of the year. A day doesn’t go by without some kind of a connection, sometimes we don’t say anything for a moment both hoping and wondering if next year will see us both alive. That day I might even make her favorite pancakes and serve them to my child to celebrate motherhood the way I understand it.

Recipe

Scant 1 ¼ cup mashed bananas (about 3 small bananas)

2 tablespoons coconut oil or butter, melted

1 tablespoon lemon juice (about 1 small lemon, juiced)

1 teaspoon honey or maple syrup

2 eggs

1 cup quick oats

½ teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

blueberries

In a small mixing bowl, stir together the mashed bananas, coconut oil (or butter), lemon juice and honey (or maple syrup).

Beat in the eggs. (If your coconut oil goes back to its solid state like mine did at this point, just warm the mixture for short 20 second bursts in the microwave, stirring between each, until it is melted again.)

In a medium bowl, whisk together the quick oats., salt and spices.

Form a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in the wet ingredients. With a big spoon, stir just until the dry ingredients are thoroughly moistened. Do not overmix! Add blueberries.

Let the batter sit for 10 minutes. You may want to thin out the batter a bit with a touch of milk or water.

Heat a heavy cast iron skillet/non-stick pan over medium-low heat, or heat an electric griddle to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Lightly oil the surface with coconut oil, butter or cooking spray. (If you’re using a non-stick electric griddle, you might not need any oil at all.)

Once the surface of the pan is hot enough that a drop of water sizzles on it, pour ¼ cup of batter onto the pan. Let the pancake cook for about 3 minutes, until bubbles begin to form around the edges of the cake.

Once the underside of the pancake is lightly golden, flip it with a spatula and cook for another 90 seconds or so, until golden brown on both sides. You may need to adjust the heat up or down at this point.

Serve the pancakes immediately or keep warm in a 200 degree Fahrenheit oven.

La Deesse au Marais

April 20, 2017

Dear loyal readers,

Imagine a country whose very name evokes extraordinary cuisine and picturesque photography….

Imagine this country annually attracts more tourists than any other country on Earth, including the United States...

Are you imagining France?

At the behest of my stomach and my camera, I made two trips last summer to rediscover just how magical France is...and to bring you back mouth-watering photographs.

MY FIRST TRIP was during the European Cup (yes, soccer). I landed in Normandy (no, not on the beach) and beside watching the soccer games I visited a few beautiful places up by the Celtic Sea. Mont Saint-Michel was my favorite one. It is one of France’s most recognizable landmarks, the old monumental monastery standing stoically on an island/peninsula. I say “island/peninsula” because as the monastery stares out unflinchingly at the sea, the high tide sweeps in and covers the ground connecting it with the mainland, rendering Mont St. Michel an island for a few hours a day. It’s magical and landed MSM on the Unesco list of World Heritage Sites.

The final few days I spent in Paris watching the European Cup finals and falling in love with the city again. The feeling was so strong, that I decided to come back with my friend at the end of August. I think my French connections pulled me strongly to the center of culinary art...

On MY SECOND TRIP, I stayed in the Marais at a gorgeous pied-a-terre rented through Airbnb. That’s my favorite way to travel: to find a home, nest, and then simply live—cooking, getting breakfast at the same café each morning, going to the market, having a glass of wine with locals. The Marais was the perfect neighborhood for me (lots of great stores and eats within walking distance), and we used it as a home base for our bustling 7 days of restaurant hopping & shopping before we took off to Frankfurt. If you are visiting Paris you must either stay or visit the Marais!

If you’re tired of Paris’ famous but overcrowded avenues, Le Marais – one of the only districts not redesigned by Haussmann under Napoleon – might be just the place for you. Full of pre-revolutionary buildings and tight alleys, getting lost here becomes a pleasure. This historical area on the right bank is now home to a plethora of vintage shops, art galleries and gay bars. The gay crowd rubs shoulders with the ancient Jewish community on roads such as Rue des Rosiers and Rue Pavée, where the smell of falafels sold in dozens of tiny shops and synagogues sets the mood. The area is a labyrinth of small alleys – the perfect spot for wandering with a loose agenda. Unexpectedly, you will come across one of the many synagogues and small intimate squares like the Jardin des Rosiers. Pay attention to the walls in the streets, as you will probably find some street art things. There, you will see that there are a lot of clothing shops and thrift shops. In fact, there is no specific place that you must see in Le Marais. Once you start walking you will understand that the best thing in Le Marais is to get lost in the small streets of this charming neighborhood that is essentially a cross between Soho (shopping, trendiness, tourists) and Chelsea (flashy gays).

In addition to the Carreau, there are hot spots there like Café Charlot, an Isabel Marant store, and the home of top Paris gallerist Thaddaeus Ropac. It's also the home to Bob's Kitchen, a tiny spot that's been the place the past few years to get Americanisms like juices, smoothies, vegetarian stews, pancakes, and chocolate-chip cookies, as well as my beloved and unfussy Temple Celeste, where, I ate delicious, cheap Szechuan as I knew it in New York.

There are legions more brilliant spots in Paris that I’ve either yet to discover or try—I am by no means an expert— but at present, this is what I found and loved.

Below you can find a list of my favorite places in Paris.

Chez Marianne is the place to go for dinner. It has become a local institution, so you might find the queue outside is off-putting, but the self-service system and the great range of vegetarian options are worth it

Verjus Wine Bar, 47 Rue Montpensier Head to Verjus for an excellent selection of small plates, such as morsels of buttermilk fried chicken and celery root dumplings.

Frenchie, 5-6 Rue du Nil Ex-head chef of Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen, Greg Marchand’s table is one of the hardest to get access to in the city. It boasts a fresh and innovative market menu and casual, but fun atmosphere.

Frenchie Bar à Vins, 5-6 Rue du Nil Following the success of Frenchie restaurant comes the equally sought after spot at the no-reservations wine bar.

Breizh Café, 109 Rue Vieille du Temple is a crêperie run by a Frenchman originally from Brittany who lived in Japan – it also has a branch in Tokyo. There you’ll find oysters, seaweed butter and good chocolate to liven up the usual savory crêpes.

9 Carrefour de l’Odéon This little wine bar must be up there with my little Paris kitchen as one of Paris’s tiniest cooking establishments.

Le Comptoir du Relais 9 Often hailed as the father of the bistronomique movement in Paris, Yves Camdeborde’s modern take on the bistrot makes the most of the nose-to-tail philosophy and at the weekend offers good bistrot fare at reasonable prices.

La Fontaine de Mars, 129 Rue Saint-Dominique This traditional Parisian bistrot is known for its hearty French fare.

Le Verre Volé, 67 Rue de Lancry The perfect cave à manger, with natural wines and a short market menu, this fun wine bar is a Canal Saint Martin favorite.

Bob’s Juice Bar, 15 Rue Lucien Sampaix A nice break from French food great spot for a juice and a healthy salad from this New York style eatery.

Clown Bar, 114 Rue Amelot An absolute gem. Amazing dishes, served beautifully.

Septime, 80 Rue de Charonne One of my favorite places to eat in Paris for its colorful artistically executed set menu.

Le Servan, 32 Rue Saint-Maur This is a great place to go for a well-priced, tasty lunch. At 23€ for three courses (excluding wine), you can’t go wrong!

Le Bistrot Paul Bert, 18 Rue Paul Bert Perhaps one of Paris’ worst kept secrets, this neighborhood bistrot dishes up all the French classics in a quintessentially Parisian setting.

Aux Deux Amis, 45 Rue Oberkampf This quirky ex-tabac attracts hipsters and locals alike who cram into the tiny space to swig natural wines and share plates of French ‘tapas’ in a fun and unpretentious setting.

Le Dauphin, 131 Avenue Parmentier Inaki Aizpitarte’s trendy tapas bar designed by Rem Koolhaas opened to an onslaught of adoration from chefs and critics and offers an eclectic mix of high-end sharing plates.

Au Passage, 1bis Passage de Saint-Sébastien Part of the new breed of neo-bistrots offering natural wines, sharing plates featuring excellent ingredients and a laid-back atmosphere.

Le Baratin, 3 Rue Jouye-Rouve Off a little side street in Paris’ second Chinatown Belleville, you’ll find this restaurant serving simple, tasty French food and a great selection of wines.

Que du Bon, 22 Rue Plateau A casual neighborhood bistrot with a daily changing market menu at great prices.

Ô Divin 35, rue des Annelets A lovely spot for dinner. It originally started life as a wine bar, so you can expect a good selection – and the cheeses are a must, too!

Tahini Cauliflower

March 20, 2017

Do I have big dreams? I often ask myself if I am just lazy or being pragmatic and know my limitations. Sure enough the American dream has become the American basic expectation.

As Pole in America all this star- spangled expectations feels strange to me. There is no “ Polish dream “ (other than a new car, and someone else’s misfortune) Telling a polish toddler that they, too, could one day be a President would likely give them nightmares.

The American Dream can be very inspiring, but it is also problematic, not because it is mostly false, but also because research shows that America is far from being the Land of a big opportunity. A child who is born poor in America is more likely to remain poor than in any other comparable country. The fact that Trump’s own way-to-riches fairytale shows a likely inheritance millions from his daddy is relatively typical. An estimated 40% of the billionaires on the Forbes billionaires list also inherited a big portion of their wealth.

In this story, success is the result not of luck or privilege, but our own personal qualities, skills and hard work. Similarly, failure can never stand from systemic obstacles or difficult circumstances—the fact that good jobs are increasingly rare, incomes are hitting poverty levels and rents are sky-high—but is simply a mark of personal deficiency.

While Americans are great at big dreams (you can become the President!), they are surprisingly bad at more moderate ones (you can have paid vacation/ affordable healthcare/ a fair wage.) It is a genuine possibility that an American woman might make it to Mars before she gets long paid maternity leave. But in reality, the majority of our wellbeing is not made up from the remote possibility of enormous success but from these more modest dreams.

In my personal opinion, the subtle claim that we should all be striving for greatness can be surprisingly psychologically damaging. The American dream has become the mass production of unrealistic expectations. The constant mantra “ you can be anything you want to be “ has created anxiety in American life, where anything short of greatness can feel like a failure.

But really, small concrete, gains are as important to our happiness as the big dreams. So maybe our next generation of graduation speeches should encourage us to do something truly inspirational. Dream small and succeed!!

Roasted cauliflower with tahini sauce, sprinkled with pomegranate seed and cilantro is my version of big dream of a fancy dishes made with no afford and 100% of satisfaction.

Every time I make this dish my guests absolutely love it and want the recipe. I won’t pretend it is an old family recipe anymore. (I didn’t grow up in the Middle East eating tahini sauce, even halva was a rarity) So here you are my curios friends. The easiest recipe on Earth that will let you win any culinary competition with your friends …. I didn’t promise top chef. Remember dream small…

Recipe:

Ingredients

1 head cauliflower, whole or cored and cut into 1 1⁄2'' florets

1/4-cup extra-virgin olive oil

2 tsp. yeast flakes

sea salt salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

1/2-cup tahini

3 cloves garlic, smashed and minced into a paste

Juice of 1 lemon

1-cup pomegranate seeds

½ cup chopped fresh cilantro

Heat oven to 500°. Toss together oil, yeast flakes, cauliflower, and salt and pepper in a large bowl. Transfer to rimmed baking sheet; spread out evenly. Bake, rotating pans from top to bottom and front to back, until cauliflower is browned and tender, 25—30 minutes.

Meanwhile, combine tahini, garlic, lemon juice, and 1⁄2 cup water in a small bowl and season with salt. Serve cauliflower hot or at room temperature with tahini sauce, sprinkled with pomegranate seeds and cilantro.

Przepis:

Skladniki

1 kalafior

¼ szklanki oleju

2 lyzeczki platkow drozdzowych

sol morska I pieprz do smaku

½ szklanki pasty tahini

3 zabki czosnku posiekane

sok z 1 cytryny

1 szklanka nasion granatu

½ szklanka posiekanej swiezej kolendry

Nagrzac piekarnik do 280C wymieszac olej, platki drozdowe, sol, pieprz I kalafior, umiescic na blaszce do pieczenia piec przez okolo 25-30 min obracajac aby kalafior byl przypieczony z obu stron.

Wymieszac paste tahini, czosnek, sok cytrynowy, I ½ szklanki wody w miseczce, doprawic sola. Serwowac na cieplo lub zimno posypane granatem I kolendra .